A funny thing happened in Prague

It started at a little gallery in the Old Town, not far from the street full of puppets, not far from the doorway where the stone blokes were wearing stone lion skins. I don't know whether the woman in the gallery was desperate for a sale, or just desperate for someone to talk to, but she was desperate for something. Expressing interest in a rather cute painting called 'Marauders' (or something) in which two dogs played tug-of-war with a typewriter had led to a lengthy but completely uneccessary discussion of how postage costs to the UK were undeniably great value.

I ended up with a handful of brochures that I really didn't want, and finally stumbled out into the cold street. I gazed at the top corner of the opposite building for a while. That is the appropriate thing to do in Prague, as every top corner is flouting some kind of groovy accoutrement that begs for your attention.

I turned around and saw a largish bloke kind of loping towards us down the cobbled street, and immediately got that little tweak of vertigo you get when your contexts unexpectedly go awry. I had the peculiar sensation that my TV screen had just taken on a very impressive big-screen, 3-D kinda quality. Suddenly Law and Order had gone medieval. The lighting was even right.

I swear it was him. Jesse L. Martin. I looked at him. He looked right back. He was looking kinda friendly (I was wearing the green coat: it has that effect), and if I could have only remembered his name at the time, I could have quite happily said hello. I didn't think 'Hi, love your work. Can't remember who you are, but love your work' would quite do the business, though. He looked like he was having a nice day, so gratuitous ego-deflation seemed inappropriate. The Green Coat Magic also completely prevented me from engaging in the sleeve tug and the accompanying 'Look, its the guy from Law and Order' stage-whisper without both spoiling the moment and shamelessly exposing my tragic un-hippness.

As a result, J. kept gazing at rooftops, oblivious. We passed like the proverbial ships, Jesse L's personal space intact, and any chance for independent verification of the sighting lost forever.

I was left assuring J.that yes, I was really, really sure, and wondering whether, if I was just a bit more opportunistic, that little encounter could have been the start of...of ...um...something. The lucrative sale of that unfinished undergraduate (and let's face it shithouse) film script? A sudden, unsought invitation to a glamorous cocktail party teeming with commissioning producers from HBO? One of those out-of-focus'look who I met on my holiday' snaps? Ah, the golden opportunities that slip through your fingers for the want of some good old-fashioned chutzpah!

For the record, its not all a trick of the light. He really is quite handsome.