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The Saturation Point of Bells

"There are those who stay at home and those who go away, and it has always been so. Everyone can choose for himself, but he must choose while there is still time and never change his mind." (from Moomminvalley in November, Tove Jansson,1971)

Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts

Oh, jesus!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


On Sunday (appropriate, but accidental) P, V and I trotted off the the Opera House to see Handel's Messiah performed by the Sydney Philharmonic. I didn't really know that much about it beyond the 'Hallelujah' bits but the prospect of hearing all those voices in a purpose built concert hall was too much to resist.

I had never actually stepped inside the Opera House before, though I stare at it every day. I expected it to be a bit more velvety and chintzy and generally trashy inside, but that's probably just because you've had to battle through the tat of Circular Quay to get there. I didn't expect all that starkness and concrete and clean lines. On the inside, at least of the bit we were in, it was smaller, as well. Given the huge clean grandeur of the outside, it kind of seemed oddly cramped, like a reverse tardis. In a nice, industrial chic kinda way. The toilets sported plywood doors with a very groovy curve and steeply sloping ribbed concrete cielings.

I realised as soon as they began that I should reminded myself to prepare for all that christian praise palaver. Not a difficult thing to remember you would have thought, what with being called 'The Messiah' an' all, but that slipped my mind in all the excitement of the prospect of a 300-400 strong choir. Not least because of the subject matter, I had never listened to the whole thing before, so I was also a bit unprepared for the frequency and length of the solos.

I may be the only person on the planet that didn't know this,  there are a lot of them, and a great many of them comprise of saying the same phrase over and over again with a different emphasis. I had understood that 'He was despis-ed' after the first or so ten repetitions and was ready to move on. Or just listen to the orchestra.

The tenor seemed to be doing a fine job, but the haughty tilt of his chin as he gazed at the audience like some low-rent prophet while he waited to be needed again was really getting on my nerves. The soprano was kind of like an upper middle-class kindy teacher who had finished her training before she realised she disliked small children.  She was a little like an unfriendly version of Juanita from Playschool, only not as saucy. The bass, my favourite, reminded me of my brother's school friend Gareth, who none of us have set eyes on for decades. I couldn't help thinking that these reflections were not quite the kind of transcendent contemplation that Handel and those who commissioned him had quite intended to elicit. Mostly, I just wanted them all to shut up and let the choir have a go.

All of that was secondary to the real problem, though, which was a distracting Powerpoint - sorry, multimedia - presentation that was flashing above us all, presenting a bizarre gum-leaf and drenched sheep interpretation of the whole passion play. Opening with the dog on the tuckerbox. I kid you not. At first I though it was going to be some frightfully clever po-mo pastiche of christmas kitch, but when the indigenous theme was introduced my ability to go cheerfully with the flow pretty soon evaporated.

I cannot even begin to tell you the mish-mash of stuff that went on, but there seemed to me to be a number of images that were open to a very limited and rather unpleasant interpretation. For example, presenting a pair of young indigenous men with the 'lost' who apparently needed to be saved from darkness by a little glowing jesus appearing above his head? I would have thought that a long term view of the 40,000-odd thousand years of Australian residency would suggest that they were doing just fine on a spiritual level thousands of years before anyone had even dreamt up the christian idea of god, and given the various events that have occurred to communities and families since (with church involvement for ill as well as for good), the claim is dubious at best.

Later, the same young indigenous man superimposed over a crucified christ with barbed wire silhouettes across him while everyone sang. "And with his stripes we are healed". I'm sorry?  We are now claiming that the suffering imposed on the indigenous community was a necessary part of "our" salvation? While I have no problem at all in acknowledging that the various assaults - both deliberate and accidental - inflicted on indigenous people in this country over the last few centuries clearly qualify as "sins",  claiming that the whole sorry mess has any redemptive value is another thing altogether. Its pretty hard to see the idea of equating the story of Australian colonialism with the story of a man/god put on earth in order to redeem us as anything other than cruel and offensive.

Everyone stood up when they got to the 'Hallelujah' bit.

We move on to "And we like sheep", and lo and behold, we have a bunch of sheep being mustered for a good drenching by the look of it. A little literal, perhaps, but I see the point. Then a picture of a crowd shot. All white faces. When I was in South Africa recently I was struck by how every white south african I spoke to (some of whom were nuns, by the way) unfailingly spoke about their black compatriots as 'them'. "They like to do this... "They have a strong tradition of...". Hundreds of nations and family groups  and different cultural traditions reduced to a single Other.  This slide-show didn't seem much different.  'We' as Australia, 'they' as....what? Not 'Australia'? A symbol?

Maybe I just missed the point, and it was some clever-clever pastiche poking fun at exactly the types of things I complain about above, and I was just too obtuse to get it.  But when the final group of shots appear incorporating a whole lot of national flags being waved, its hard to think positively about the interpretation.

I know that I've been away a while, but I have been fondly imagining that the fact that both our Prime Minister and our Opposition Leader are avowed church-goers of the christian variety was a pure co-incidence. Now I'm not so sure.

As for the four hundred people singing at the top of their voices, fucking fantastic.

Posted by Unknown at 8:06 AM 0 comments    

Labels: australia, god, music, rants, reviews, sydney

The Art of Waiting

Monday, July 20, 2009

On the plane to Africa, I read the following in Ryszard Kapuscinski's The Shadow of the Sun (Penguin (Australia) 2008):


"Therefore the African who boards a bus sits down in a vacant seat, and immediately falls into a state in which he spends a great portion of his life: a benumbed waiting."

Well, I thought, I can dig it. Sounds exactly waiting for the train at Richmond station, back in the day, when I had an office to go to.

Kapuscinski goes on:

"What does this dull waiting consist of? People know what to expect; therefore, they try to settle themselves in as comfortably as possible, in the best possible place. Sometimes they lie down, sometimes they sit on the ground, or on a stone, or squat. They stop talking. A waiting group is mute. It emits no sound. The body goes limp, droops, shrinks. The muscles relax. The neck stiffens, the head ceases to move. The person does not look around, does not observe anything, is not curious. Sometimes his eyes are closed - but not always. More frequently, they are open but appear unseeing, with no spark or like in them. I have observed for hours on end crowds of people in this state of inanimate waiting, a kind of profound physiological sleep:..."

I quote it at length because this is clearly not a passing aside or a throwaway line. (Though to be fair he does note elsewhere that any statement about 'Africa' is always going to be crap because there is no such homogenous place).

It didn't make me feel any better about my trip, though. The guy lived and worked as a journalist in Africa for years, so I figured he probably knows what he is talking about. Fuck me, I thought, I am gonna be BORED.

A week later, I am in a bare and unadorned hall, with a good forty minutes to go before the Conference's closing ceremony. Delegates have been listening to learned people all week, and they are about to hear just one more. There is plastic chairs and concrete, and very little else.

There is nothing to do but wait, but like everyone else I am getting there early, because I saw how the crowd waited before the Opening ceremony, and I am hoping to see a bit more waiting. I am hoping they will wait, spontaneously, in any spare patch of floor, in sync, starting with some simple melodies back and forth across the cavernous room, gradually adding harmonies, layer upon layer, three, four, five...

The film found at the link below is my experience of an African crowd waiting. Possibly it is no more typical than Mr R's, but I defy you to listen without smiling (the vision is crap, but listen to the sound!). Better still, give it a go next time the 5.34 from Flinders Street is late.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPIh038Z3Sc


Posted by Unknown at 6:35 PM 1 comments    

Labels: blogsherpa, dancing, music, south africa, travel, waiting

Ten things I learned in Prague

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


1) 'Don't cry for me Argentina' sounds rather odd in Czech. The taxi driver seemed to like it, though.

2) It's full of stone people, and most of them are naked. Not naked in an Adam and Eve clothes-haven't-been-thought-of-yet' kinda way, but naked in a 'hey-baby-let's-get-it on', kinda way. No demure draping of sheets for these dudes. Seriously, its wall to wall breasts in this place. In a nice way. Lucky they're made of stone or they would be fucking cold.

3)If you are an English speaker, you should pay attention to your grammar, because there is a good chance that the Prague residents you speak to have better English than you do. (Better than I do, anyway.) We had quite an interesting conversation with the woman running the cloak-room in the Museum of decorative arts, who wanted our advice as to the correct British equivalent of the American 'You're welcome.' We were struggling a bit, but after some discussion settled on 'It's my pleasure', though a little more formal. Meanwhile, I had to take a surreptitious peek in my guide book to even get the Czech word for 'thankyou' right.

4)There is live classicial music to be had right, left and centre. And much of it is free.

5) Little golden pointy stars are de rigeur for your average halo. If wearing stars, stone people are also likely to be wearing clothes (cf. point 2, above).

6) The Time Out city guide is crap.

7) If you are a fan of Art Deco, and Art Nouveau, Prague is the place for you. Decorative arts, architechture, furniture glasswear. Its all there in its stylish glory, happily nestled in amongst the more expected medieval and baroque flourishes.

8) It's a beatiful city, full of very beautiful things. I include in this category a long line of large yellow penguins.

9) The Bohemians were making extraordinarily delicate engraved glasswear at a period in history when, my beloved Scot reminds me, technology in the UK largely consisted of 'struggling to hammer a pair of logs together'. What is even more extraordinary is that it is that many pieces of the aforesaid glasswear is still in one piece. If this is possible, why do I find it impossible to keep a set of six wine glasses intact for more than about six months?

10) You can buy cannabis vodka. And yet, I practically had to wrestle the barman in our hotel to the ground before he would give me any absinthe. Nice girls in nice hotels don't, apparently. I did.

Posted by Unknown at 4:07 PM 0 comments    

Labels: Art, blogsherpa, czech-republic, music, Prague, travel

Gypsy memories

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Ms J. sent the e-mail in the afternoon. What happened to Dirty Three, she wondered. Weren't they on the bill? Well, I thought so too, and a quick check on last.fm showed we weren't alone.

It didn't matter. The night had a Saintly Mojo all its own. I was heading to the City from the ragged heart of Footscray when I suddently recollected that Ms J., Southside Supreme, worked in Footscray herself. Lo and behold, instant door-to-door transport and a happy journey in the J-mobile. When we arrive, Ms. J's famous Parking Fairy (bless her little cotton socks) finds us a spot.

We head towards the New Gold Mountain.Only one day till I leave. We wonder about a rendevous in New York. How did I start having such surreal conversations? Maybe it can happen, maybe it can. Hunger diverts to the neighbouring Japanese, Horoki, where my sashimi salad (with daikon, seaweed and a light tangy dressing) proves to be spectacularly good. The Saki Samurai (saki, ice, and a fat wedge of lime)are pretty damn good as well.

JL the Magnificent turns up to find us, and we all head to The Forum. Ms. J. and I discover that A., the waitter that always looked after the CSBM (Children's Service's Branch Mafia) at Nudel, just happens to have been a friend of Ms J's for 20-odd years. The delicate little threads that tie us all together flicker into view in the soft evening light. I ask her to relay our regards.

I collect the tickets at the Box Office, nearly tripping over a member of Blue Ruin in the process, and head on in. JL says that X are making her ears bleed, and heads for the seats at the back. I can't sit down at a gig, though, and head to the standing area with Ms. J. We soon find B., former collegue whose rock pig instincts have snaffled him a great spot against the railing. He is happy to share. X are great, and the bass is making my breast-bone vibrate just the way I like it. There is still at least one bass-player in the world who goes with the open-shirt look. It's good to know. The big vertical spit into the air is also particularly impressive. Not everyone can break the 6-foot barrier with a big gob of slag.

In the break between bands, B. confesses that he started the rumour that Dirty Three were on the bill. Says it serves us right for trusting networking sites and other scurrilous gossip. Meanwhile, JL comes down from her pew and is soon is having deja vu about Ms J's cat, though she has met neither Jane (or the cat) before tonight. Invisible threads are suspected.

The Saints come on, and I finally see Chris Bailey and Ed Kuepper in the same place at the same time. They open with Stranded. Can't get better than that. Chris Bailey keeps berating us all for being stupid enough to pay $60 to hear an album played that we could all listen to at home: ("I hate fucking matinees.Don't worry, it will be over soon.") Ed Kuepper looks earnest, Chris Bailey shows of relentlessly and occasionally remembers to pretend he is not enjoying himself. We yell and scream and coax them out for a great couple of encores, complete with a little diversion into a river deep rendition of River Deep Mountain High. The sweat and beer eases the collective creak of our old arthritic bones, and we dance. Someone even musters a stage dive. Sweet.

Ms J. spots Jimmy G. through the crowd, who was not only with us at RMIT years ago, but also was a primary school with me.

Hello, hello. How are you? Good to see you.

L. is here somewhere, but I can't see him. We walk to a bar off Bourke for a post-gig drink, talking about Otis Redding & Stevie Wonder. KC walks in the door, a face from another time: flashbacks of a party in her tiny Balaclava flat, dancing in a tiny living room.

Hello, hello. How's things? Whatcha up to? Yes, I heard you'd gone.

KC & JL start hatching plans for a Big Day Out. Conversation breaks off suddenly "Neil!". JL has seen a face she used to work with. She doesn't know it's the same Neil that I did my Masters with, and with whom I have shared many a beery chat.

Hello, hello. You know eachother? Can't believe I bumped into you. How's the family? How's the life?

I need to write this down, try and capture it lest the threads stretch and break. I sit down in the State Library this morning to write this blog, and look up Horoki. The review says the name means 'gypsy memories' or 'tastes of the wanderer'. Who knew?

See you soon, Melbourne. Look after yourself. I'll miss you.

Posted by Unknown at 1:03 AM 2 comments    

Labels: CSBM, Dirty Three, gigs, Melbourne, music, saints, X

The Definition of Panic

Friday, December 5, 2008

The definition of panic, dear friends, is when your stupid Windows Media Player (let the guilty be named) tells you that all of your music is on your computer twice, and then you remember that you put stuff in a 'public' folder, because your stupid computer thinks that your part-time worker self and your fooling around freelance self are two different people altogether (which they kind of are, I like to think, but I digress..).




The definition of panic, is when you do actually check, and Windows Explorer shows you a happy little list of folders in BOTH your 'music' folder and your 'public music' folder, clear indication in anyone's language that there are files in both. Deluded, I was. Deceived and deluded. So, in order to keep your little laptop the lean mean fighting machine that it needs to be in this dog-eat-homework world, you press 'delete' to erase the material in your 'public' folder, ignoring the little voice in the back of your head that is querulously murmering 'Hang on. No way is your hard disk big enough to fit all your music twice.'





The definition of panic is when the warning that the thing is about to delete 8,136 items makes no impression on you whatsoever except to make you feel rather smug and self-congratulatory about the fact you have accrued 8,136 items of rather eclectic and diverse musical joy. This vainglorious buzz lasts just long enough to quash any uneasiness prompted by your computer telling you that it will not put these things in that safe little Half-way House for Wayward Files, the Recycle Bin. It will instead delete them - completely and irrevocably - without further ado. This is precisely because it is a rich and lovely collection of such impressive volume. This is because you are now homeless and all your CDs are stored away in an asbestos-soaked shed in the middle of Brunswick, and your only access to your music, lovingly collected over years, is via your computer. Yes, it seems size does matter.


The definition of panic is when you check back in your music folder to find everything gone.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


Everything, that is, except one empty Beck folder. Oddly, the Microsoft gods decided to let that stay, as a hollow reminder of all that had been and was now no more.


But wait. No need to send flowers.



The definition of relief is when you realise that you acually backed up your computer before you left the UK, because you remembered that if your laptop got nuked by some feral device bent on protecting the world from Terror you are fucked, both professionally and personally. Professionally for obvious reasons. Personally because all your photos and music, and therefore the best parts of oneself, would be erased forever.



So, as I write, a shiny little back box about the size of a Moleskine notebook with a reassuringly steady blue light on the side is painstakingly giving my machine back its soul - or at least 6,812 parts of it. This is going to take it 59 minutes apparently, which seems a little unfair given that the accumulated musical wisdom of 41 years of listening pleasure took me a maximum of two clicks and well under 59 seconds to destroy. I am a little concerned about the mysterious attrition of about 1,200 items but, hell, seven eighths of a soul is better than no soul at all.


Back up, my friends, back up. Disaster is but a mouse-click away.

Posted by Unknown at 5:06 AM 0 comments    

Labels: gadgets, music

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